My innocence lost

(circa 2004-2005)

Mind wandering in drowning confusion
Submerging itself in psychedelic delusion
Diggin my way to find the solution
Body raked bare, thrown away and used
The soul's dignity stripped, battered and abused
But "Still I Rise" like dear Ms. Angelou
Her premature hips once torn in two
We were together, about the same age when we died
Our empty bodies became havens where secrets hide
Through death and dust, arrives re-birth
A new sun shown the value of self worth
Our worth to self, truth, and sanity
We are the scars of this humanity
Forgiveness found through our own eyes
Truth fertilized by decomposing lies
Because of this.... I Still Rise

No more regret

Probably circa 2004

Internal love is what I need
To fill in this gaping hole
Newly obtained wounds, none reprieved
The star shines bright within my soul
Another layer for my foundation
Swarming and creating whirlwinds of survival
Strengthening our energy, our situation
Sealing a connection no one can rival
Ravaging through our desolate past
We seek comfort for the future
Sewing up scars which have been cast
While finding more to still nurture
Agony where fruit may grow
Along the road of dried up streams
Of light where brightness used to flow
Beyond the nightmares and the screams
Remain under the burden of pain
Back to a reality that's easily forgot
Enough to drive the mind insane
Compassion left in the field to rot
Internally cultivated, externally exposed
But too weak to crush what's already known:
Survival is eminent
The path is already set
Magnetized by the beauty
Of no more regret
Your essence rises beyond this earthly plateau
Changing tides lead your heart where to go
The calming of the sea will soon let itself show
Waiting for the stars to align
Preparing the soul for truths it must find
The balance will find you in soon enough time

Second Valentine

Feb 2004 - 10/14/11

Those almond eyes
Lost in this ocean of draining spirituality
Have steadily watched my frustrated cries
Turn into the foundation of my new found reality

I’m immersed in the softness of your skin
The warmth of your arms invite me home
I melt into your pores and find within
New levels of love that I’ve never known

We are venturing onto a new plateau
In life and love, experiences all new
Where we’ll end up, we do not know
Each lesson and answer is ours to pursue

When my emotions typhoon you still understand
Patiently watching for the storm to subside
You swim me to shore and lay me on the sand
Protecting my soul while letting the stars be my guide

You’ve watched me grow
In a forest fertilized by sorrows and secrets
Into the tallest and strongest tree that will no longer show
Fears of the past or the weight of regrets

My roots are now well planted
Even in the midst of confusion and withdrawal
My strength will not be reprimanded
Thanks to you, I shall never fall

The sincerity of your lips
Invite me into the insights you’re seeing
Negativity is eclipsed
By the beauty of your being

Our energies intertwined
Exploding particles that will both soon collide
Engulfing everything, leaving nothing behind
But we will survive because our universe will provide

“And I still get to talk to you every now and then
Definition of over, doesn't have to be the end
It’s good to see you grow, shake my hand
That’s all I want from my -lover and my best friend
I got your back, don't ever fucking question that….”

Confusion

1/22/04
1/13/08

Delusion, infusion
Constant confusion
Dunno why I do this shit sometimes
But it's always on my mind
Constantly excavating
Thru the borrows of my soul
Finding pieces that are dead and cold
Don't know what the fuck I'm doing
But I always got issues ensuing
Trying to get it together
So one day I'll be better
And be able to be free
From my self inflicted misery